The forgotten tourist hot-spot, Swat Valley and NW Pakistan

“So when did you last see a tourist”? I asked the man, a resident of Battagram, a Pashtun town in NW Pakistan. “Ummm….” he pondered, eyes to the sky, deep in thought, “15…..17,18 years ago, when I was at school”. His answer probably explains the slack jawed gawping from just about everybody l passed in the street. Needless to say, those who managed to stop staring were incredibly friendly. A few days earlier in the small Swat Valley town of…

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Want to know the meaning of hospitality? Come to Pakistan

A simple list of the things I was given by locals in one day of walking on the streets of Multan in the Punjab, Pakistan will give you a very clear insight into the generosity at the heart of its culture. 1 Orange 1 Fruit juice 1 Bag of pickles 2 Cups of tea (several more refused due to risk of overdose) 1 Gigantic poppadom 1 Chicken Biryani 1 Bottle of Coke 1 Veggie Samosa (obliged to turn down a…

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A truck is never just a truck in Pakistan

The art of commercial vehicle decoration in Pakistan Other than for little boys and peculiar breeds of adult nerds, the appeal of commercial vehicles to the general public rarely transcends the mundane in the West and on the occasions they are customised there is little chance of the owner risking the dents and scratches of commercial use or letting any of the proletariat getting their greasy paws all over the immaculate bodywork, unless it was a trusted mechanic. For Pakistanis…

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Buffalo arse on the road to enlightenment.

Buffalo arse formed the most vivid memory of the traffic jam. It was this that was responsible for much of the predicament, along with the dozens of dark, dusty grey creatures they were attached to of course, ambling at a stately plod over the dusty, potholed tarmac on the outskirts of Larkana, Pakistan. Sitting in the back of an auto rickshaw conveniently gives you an almost perfect eye level view of this feature of the animal. When confronted with such…

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Raving in the name of Allah

The first, deep resonant boom of the bass drum echoed around the courtyard, the cue for the men to begin to stand. The second boom commenced a slow deliberate beat, soon all were standing, swaying, letting the rhythm gently guide their motion. Little by little the beat picked up pace, the dancers responding to its energy until it morphed into an insistent roll and the movements became more agitated. The beat dropped into the breakdown, the piercing, discordant wail of…

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I went to Oman and all I got were these bloody doors and a chicken tikka massala.

I’d love to tell you about Omani culture but after ten days in the country I still hadn’t really seen any. If I was significantly more wealthy I would have done, as I could have hired a car and driver to go and find all the wonderful historical places that are denied the pleasure of public transport. Struggling to find any kind of accommodation under $40 a night didn’t leave much of a budget to do anything else, especially after…

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Racism and the making of an English traveller

The traveling community is hardly packed with racists, it would seem almost contrary to the basic spirit of the thing. That’s not to say we always get race relations right, navigating an ill defined path through the confusion of a multitude of different cultures. As an Englishman our past shows quite clearly we got it wrong a lot more than right. My school was white, very white, which probably accounted for the fact that it wasn’t until the age of…

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Soul of the city: Alexandria, Egypt

Digging under the surface of Egypt’s famous city    Probably the most important thing about Egypt’s second city according to its residents, is that it certainly isn’t Cairo. In particular they’ll tell you that it’s not as busy, dirty or noisy as the capital, which might come as a bit of a surprise to a westerner arriving in Alexandria who had yet to see Cairo, for by European standards it is all these things, even if it pales in comparison…

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My Top Travel Skills (that are completely useless back home)

If you are not picking up skills on your adventures, it means you are only on holiday and not pushing the experience envelope.  Hopefully, somewhere along the way you will have developed supreme self-confidence, an acute sense of direction and astute bargaining skills, all of which should come in useful once in a while when you are back home, fending off the suicidal urges of your day job. Along with these, if you have been properly immersing yourself in all…

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Nine Glimpses of Lebanon

Things aren’t always what you might think they would be in Lebanon 1. The Chevrolet Camaro is a man’s car, a real man’s car. Its muscular solidity just shouts America! at you. There’s no mistaking its form for some limp wristed, feminine, European design. But this is Lebanon, not Buttfuck Tenessee and the driver isn’t a hooch swilling redneck but an immaculately dressed Muslim lady, her head a mass of impossibly elegant hijab folds, a dazzle of shimmering colour. Her…

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